Some important things you should know about domestic abuse:

  • There is no excuse for violence; it's never justifiable.

  • Without the assistance of a professional with specific training and experience in spousal abuse, the abuse will probably get worse over time. (See our information on abuser treatment for more on this.)

  • Most abusers cannot change without specialized professional help, no matter what the abuser says or promises.

  • Marital abuse is very damaging to children (you can't hide it from them). Most abusers themselves grew up in households with marital abuse. A majority of spousal abusers also abuse their children.

  • Though your partner may blame the abuse on your actions, there is actually very little the victim can do or not do to influence the abuser's behavior.

  • Victims should have a safety plan (If you do not have the Adobe Acrobat Reader you can download it here: )before taking action: abuse frequently escalates when victims try to take action. Call your local women's shelter for advice.